Love like poison
by Keocean200
Summary: Goku is dead, now Gohan must learn to live in a world without his father. With new responsibilities and new feelings for Piccolo, Gohan must find the courage to stay true to himself and fight for a love the world won't allow. Can he become the hero he was born to be? Join him for the journey of a life time! As he loves, learns and grows to become the strongest in the universe!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, Keocean here to give you the 411 on my new story!**

 **This is the first story I have ever written on here. I have been reading fanfiction for years, ever since I was young to be honest. I have read a lot of great stories by authors who have inspired me to put pen to paper and write. I hope you like the story! I don't know if I can do Gohan and Piccolo justice but I'll try** **.**

 **Things to know:**

 **Piccolo is hermaphroditic which means he has both male & female organs. He is both. For those who are a lil slow (He got a va-jajay!)**

 **This is Gohan (seme) x Piccolo (uke) fanfiction. If that freaks you out then I don't know what to tell you. 💁**

 **I hope you enjoy the story. I would love feed back just keep it clean and classy!😉**

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It started after the Cell games.

Gohan stood there contemplating, wondering when his life had became such a mess. He stepped to the edge of the Lookout staring down at the earth.

The Lookout had become a sanctuary of sorts for Gohan. A place of peace and solitude where he could escape and be free. The Lookout was the one place he could escape his mother's suffocating presence as well as the crushing guilt and agony that seemed to follow him everywhere.

Gohan took a deep breath, slowly letting it out as his mind, once again, took him back to the battle that changed everything. The Cell games. It was during the midst of battle, that Goku decided that it would be his young son, Gohan, that would defeat Cell. At the time, 11 year old Gohan had been just as shocked as the rest of the Z Fighters. That his father believed him to be ready and strong enough to take on such a powerful enemy as Cell, filled him with both pride and trepidation.

He had stood there staring at his dad in shock as the rest of the of the Z Fighters muttered uneasily, just as unsure of Gohan's ability to take on Cell, as he was.

Goku stood proud. He was confident in his decision and his son's ability to defeat Cell. Gohan was the strongest fighter the Earth had, he knew that his son would prove him right and show the world his strength and hidden power. Gohan would give Cell a good fight.

Gohan remembered the pride in his father's eyes as he announced to Cell that he, Gohan, was stronger than him and therefore capable of defeating Cell. At the beginning of the fight Gohan had stood up, taking off the cape that Mr. Piccolo had given him, and flown down to face Cell. He had tried his hardest to hide his fear and the fact that he didn't feel as confident in his ability to defeat Cell as his father did.

He fought Cell. And for a while he was losing, so bad that his father had to step back in to help along with the other Z-Fighters. They joined the fight. Gohan had been sure that when fighting Cell that what he was doing would not be enough to defeat him. It wasn't until android 16's head was crushed by Cell that something in him shifted. He had awaken his power and it was ready to play.

It was during that fight that Gohan had ascended to Super Saiyan 2.

Even now, he could still feel the rush of power that had consumed him, so strong and intoxicating. Power that was almost primal in its intensity. Looking back Gohan could not help but think that Vegeta had been right, that the power of the Super Saiyan was beyond understanding and was a force that could destroy the Universe.

Gohan sighed and closed his eyes tiredly. A bitter smile slid upon his face as he gazed at the setting sun from his perch on the lookout. The rich hues of pink and vibrant orange did nothing to soothe his troubled soul. Gohan's mind soon took him back to the last memory of his father, to the moment of his greatest failure and his biggest regret. The day of his father's death.

Gohan, filled with the power of Super Saiyan 2, had turned the tide of the battle. He had fought Cell and for a time he'd been winning. He'd had Cell beaten and desperate but instead of finishing him when he had the chance, he instead toyed with Cell and treated their fight like a game. Gohan, consumed with arrogance and pride had given Cell the chance he needed to make a come back. He would never forget staring down his father Goku as he stood in front of Cell, right before he instant transmissioned both Cell and himself somewhere safe to absorb the full force of Cells attack. Goku had once again protected the earth from destruction.

Tears fell from Gohan's eyes as he glared at the sky. Wishing he could turn back time and just end Cell like he was supposed too. Then maybe his father would still be alive. But then even with the dragonballs his wish wouldn't come true.

It still hurt him that his father had chosen to stay in Otherworld. He had said it was because all the bad guys had come after him, constantly putting the Earth in danger. So his father decided that staying in Otherworld instead of being wished back was the right thing to do. His dad claimed he was doing it to keep them safe and protect Earth. But it had only made Gohan think that his father would rather stay dead than have to deal with a worthless son like him.

Even now, Gohan still grieved and blamed himself for his father's death and decision not to return.

Gohan felt weak with grief as his knees buckled. He leaned against the white pillar positioned beside him, the only thing able to hold him up as his mind and life seemed to fall apart around him. Guilt and shame had become his constant companions, while his friends were nowhere to be found. Without Goku, it seemed as if the Z-fighters had fallen apart. Just one more thing Gohan's failure had cost him.

Gohan stared up at the sky as he spoke to his father. Hoping that he could hear him and that Goku would speak to him but he knew it wouldn't happen. His father had never spoken to them no matter how many times Gohan or his mother had screamed up at the sky filled with grief or rage they had received no answer. The sky forever silent.

Gohan snorted in disgust, filled with self-loathing "You thought I could beat him dad, you thought I was good enough. But all I did was fail you and let you down." He whispered brokenly toward the sky.

The silence surrounding Gohan made him realize how alone he really was. Because who could understand his pain? Who could understand how broken he really was? He put on a show for the others, pretending that he had it all together. That he could step into his father's role, that he was worthy of being Earths defender when really it was all just a lie. Gohan had become an expert at pretending.

The Lookout was the silent witness to the grieving warriors pain, the hallowed halls had seen many such moments.

The wind blew gently caressing Gohan's face as he watched the day turn into night. Stars glittered brightly as he sat, a silent guardian watching over the Earth. The place he had vowed to protect, the planet his father gave his life for.

He knew his father, Son Goku, would be alive today if it had not been for him. He had been a fool and because of his foolishness his mother had lost her husband and his little brother was growing up without a dad. It made him sick to think about it, to even be around them because he knew it was all his fault.

His father had believed in him. Had chosen him to fight Cell and even though in the end Gohan had defeated Cell, it had come at the cost of his father's life. All Gohan had to do was deliver the finishing blow that would end Cell's reign of terror. But because of his stupidity and arrogance his father, Son Goku had paid the price.

Thoughts like these ran through his head Like a mantra, a Never-ending truth that screamed through his mind every time he held his little brother, knowing he was the reason Goten would grow up without a dad. Every time his mother, when she thought no one was paying attention to her, would get this lost and devastated look on her face. Every time his mother would cry herself to sleep at night, blaming herself for her husband not being there, choosing death rather than be with his family.

That is why Gohan came to the Lookout. It was his sanctuary. The only place he could go to avoid the guilt, avoid the eyes of the family he had ruined. Because Gohan had broken his family and he did not know how to make them whole again.

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Author's note:

First chapter done! It's a little short but gets into Gohan's many issues. This takes place about a year after the Cell games, a year after Goku's death. Things are still fresh for everyone.

Right now Gohan and Piccolo are still just mentor and student. It won't get to a romantic tip till the time skip when Gohan is in highschool.

This is just laying the foundation for their relationship. You can say this is an alternative universe, a world where Goku's death left scars. A world where Gohan grew up dealing with loss, responsibility, plus confusing feelings for someone dear to him. This will not mirror canon nor will it bash anyone but it will make you think and discover our favorite characters in a new way!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 Baby! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's a little bit more intense.**

 **Here we get Gohan and Piccolo interaction. We learn more about Piccolo, Gohan, and a bit about the Z-Fighters.**

 **Enjoy!**

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Piccolo had been meditating by the waterfall.

He had just finished training earlier and needed to center himself from his intense workout. Since the defeat of Cell, Piccolo had been training nonstop. Strengthening his body as well as his mind for the next threat to earth. He sighed as once again his thoughts went to the chaos left in the wake of Goku's death.

Goku's death changed everything.

The other Z-Fighters had become lost, incapable of moving on or imagining a world without Goku. Even Vegeta, who seemed to have lost his competitive edge and drive to fight, was listless and depressed, though he tried his best to hide it. Bulma hid herself in her lab, the bluenette never leaving, caught in her quest to stop any future Android attacks from happening.

Krillin had taken Android 18 and gone back to Kame house, he had become bitter, his typical humor now sarcastic and cruel. Tien and Chiaotzu both left without a word. They had fallen off the map, no one knew where they were. Yamcha had become an alcoholic, drowning his grief with booze and women to numb the pain.

It seemed to Piccolo that the world had become a much darker place without Son Goku.

A year had passed since Cell's defeat and Goku's death. In that time, Piccolo had started training again. He had decided that he needed to step up his game and be ready for whatever threat that came their way. He knew that the rest of the gang had taken Goku's death hard, but the hardest hit had been Gohan and his mother. He worried for Gohan. His young protege could hide how he felt from others but never from him.

Piccolo, like the others, had been saddened by Goku's death. But unlike the rest, he had accepted it, for it had been the Saiyan warrior's choice.

His only concern with Goku's decision was Gohan, though he accepted Goku's choice it did not mean he agreed with it. He felt Goku had been too impulsive and had not thought about the consequences of his actions.

Goku may have thought he was doing the right thing by protecting the earth from future enemies but he had also hurt and broken his family and friends. They were the ones left picking up the pieces of their shattered hearts. His careless decision had hurt them all and Piccolo could see that things would never be the same again.

Piccolo sighed tiredly as he stood up from his meditating position. He stretched his long limbs, the deep green of his skin shining in the sunlight. The soft bubbling of the brook and splashing of the waterfall filled him with peace.

Piccolo did not favor many things, as a warrior, he focused on fighting and getting stronger.

But the waterfall had to be his favorite place. The Waterfall held significance in his life, it was the one place where he could be at peace but it was also the one place he had always been safe. During his lonely and turbulent childhood, before he had aged himself, he had been small and weak. To live in a world where you were the only one like you, where your green-skin made you enemy number one! The world still hated and feared his sire, King Piccolo Daimao. He had learned early on that the world had no mercy for the weak and had done everything he could to age himself as quickly as he could.

The waterfall had been his refuge, his place of safety, so he always made it a point to come pay homage to the place that had sheltered him before he had become the feared and powerful Piccolo Daimao j.r. Z-fighter, proud warrior and protector of earth.

Piccolo quickly took to the air, leaving his oasis behind as his mind sensed Gohan's turbulent emotions. He cursed Goku once again as he headed to fix the wreck that Gohan had become. He flew towards Kami's lookout. The day had slowly turned to night as the stars illuminated the night sky, the tiny lights leading the way to Gohan.

The Lookout was in the distance, standing high above the clouds the perfect place for a god to rest or a saiyan to mend a broken heart. He slowly touched down, feet gently resting on the ground as he made his way to the area Gohan occupied.

He stopped as he stared at Gohan, his body illuminated by the stars, his face in shadow. "Its been a while Mr. Piccolo." Gohan suddenly spoke breaking the silence that surrounded them. HeHe did not turn, nor look at Piccolo but continued to gaze at the stars.

Piccolo stayed silent, knowing that it was sometimes better to listen than to speak. He sat down beside Gohan, his movements smooth and graceful. Neither spoke as they watched the stars, the quiet and peace enveloping them in their own private world. Mentor and student sat side by side, united together as warrior's and friends.

Piccolo, not one for idle chitchat nor small talk, faced Gohan, his demeanor serious. "you have been avoiding me Gohan" Piccolo spoke simply, his gaze direct as he stared him down.

Gohan started, caught off guard by Piccolo's words. He had forgotten how direct and forthright his mentor could be.

Gohan sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. Everything was just to much to handle right now.

"I wasn't avoiding you Mr. Piccolo, I've just been having a lot on my plate lately. I needed some space to be alone." Gohan said with his signature Son grin firmly in place.

Piccolo rolled his eyes and snorted in amusement at the very obvious lie he'd just been told. "Listen kid, you may have the whole world fooled into believing your fine, but I'm not buying." Piccolo crossed his arms as he leaned his back against the pillar.

He looked up at the sky as he spoke, "I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but I'm not going anywhere, I won't leave you Gohan. I know your pain and I know you blame yourself for your father's death."

Gohan could barely breathe as Piccolo's words stabbed through him with the force of a knife.

He knew Piccolo was perceptive and very intelligent, able to discern things and figure things out with a deftness and expertise that Gohan had always admired. Now Piccolo was using his awesome skills to figure him out and it was making Gohan panic!

He didn't want Piccolo to know his hidden shame. He never wanted Piccolo, the person he admired most in the world, to realize he was still just that weak, worthless little boy who used to cry all the time. Gohan tried to pretend Piccolo's words did not affect him, his Son grin still in place, as he chuckled nervously.

"Aww Mr. Piccolo, the things you come up with! I really am fine, so there is no need to worry. Yeah I miss my dad but I'm ok. Just needed some alone time." Gohan spoke sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Hoping that Piccolo would buy it and finally let him off the hook.

Piccolo shook his head, his eyes sad as he stared at Gohan. "You can lie to the world, you can even lie to me, but you can never lie to yourself." Piccolo stated quietly, wisdom in every word he spoke.

He gazed at the young saiyan warrior, feeling his pain as if it were his own, hating the fact that Gohan had been forced to grow up too fast. Piccolo had never wanted this for him, he had always wanted the boy to be happy now seeing Gohan like this made him wish he could take his pain and sorrow and bare it himself. Piccolo did not understand human emotions or behavior all that much, he barely understood what Depression even was! But for Gohan, Piccolo was willing to learn and do everything in his power to help him!

Gohan had been trying to hold himself together. But just like that, Piccolo was able to break down his walls and reveal the broken little boy he had been trying so hard to hide. No matter how old he got or how strong he became, only Piccolo had ever been able to affect him like this, to see right through him. Not even his mother had as much power over him!

Tears filled his eyes, as he started to fall apart in front of the one being he trusted and respected above all others. Tortured Sobs racked Gohan's body as he wept, the sound penetrating the silence as it echoed throughout the empty halls of the Lookout. Strong arms drew him close, holding him in an embrace that was nearly his undoing. For the first time in a long time, Gohan didn't feel so alone.

Piccolo held Gohan tight, understanding that the kid needed this, that he needed someone to hold on to and remind him he wasn't alone. Piccolo could feel Gohan's pain, their connection and bond forged through years of battle, friendship, and trust. He would not leave Gohan, this he would vow, for however long Gohan needed him he would always be there.

Gohan had given him a chance, had seen beyond his green skin, fangs and talons and saw an actual person. Gohan had never treated him like a monster, even when he acted like it back in the early days of their acquaintance, he had always shone him kindness. As a namekian vows were sacred, to give of oneself was the ultimate expression of trust and regard. Piccolo would not shy away from this for Gohan had earned his loyalty, no one deserved it more. "I'm here Gohan. Your not alone anymore" Piccolo whispered, holding Gohan tight.

Gohan was filled with warmth. The safety of Piccolo's arms had him content and as close to happy as he'd ever been since his father died. Gohan never wanted to leave the shelter of his arms. He buried his face deeper into Piccolo's neck, the softness of his green skin and his sweet scent of rain and wild flowers almost made Gohan forget his pain and guilt. A hug from Piccolo always did this to him, though they were very rare, since Piccolo didn't believe in all that mushy stuff. Gohan would treasure this moment because being held by Piccolo was the greatest thing in the world.

Gohan pulled away slowly, as he stared into Piccolo's wise, amethyst and Ruby colored eyes. "Thank you Piccolo, I needed that hug. Your right I am lying to myself. I just wanted to pretend everything was all right but I guess I failed." Gohan sighed, barely able to look Piccolo in the eye.

Piccolo touched Gohan's chin, turning his face to look at him. "Gohan hiding your feelings does not make you strong nor weak. It instead hurts you and hurts those around you. You are not to blame for Goku's death. Goku chose his path, he chose to sacrifice himself. You are not responsible for the actions of an adult. You were, and still are just a kid you should have never been put in that position."

Gohan shook his head, in denial of Piccolo's words as he stood up and began to pace anxiously. His hurried footsteps the only sound between them.

"You don't understand Piccolo, it's all my fault! If I had only finished Cell when I had the chance, dad would still be here! Now, my mother is a widow and my brother will grow up without our dad!" Gohan screamed, overcome with guilt and pain. He knew Piccolo was trying to help him but how could he, when Gohan could barely help himself.

"Look at our friends, Piccolo! They are all lost without dad, Yamcha is an alcoholic! And all I can think is how I caused it all" Gohan whispered brokenly, tears falling down his face as he turned his back on Piccolo.

Piccolo stood elegantly as he watched Gohan break down. He could tell the kid had been rattled by his words. As Gohan turned away from him, Piccolo stood refusing to to budge until Gohan heard him out.

"Gohan it's not your fault! Stop blaming yourself" Piccolo yelled out harshly, he forced Gohan's face to his, staring him down, determined to detroy this notion of blame that was hurting Gohan.

"I know you blame yourself for everyone's problems, but I will not sit idly by and watch you self-destruct! I will stay right here with you and if I have to throw you off the lookout, like I did when I threw you into the mountain when you were a kid, to knock some sense into you then I will!" Piccolo threatened, his claws nearly riping the fabric of Gohan's gi as he gripped his arms tight.

Piccolo stepped away, crossing his arms as he glared at the hard-headed Saiyan. He was fully prepared to make good on his threat, he knew that when dealing with one of the Son's a good knock on the head did wonders to get them in line. Heck, the harpy did it all the time! Kami knows that was the only way to get Goku to pay attention.

Gohan shuddered, he remembered that incident and definitely didn't want a repeat. He chuckled in surprise and affection, only Piccolo can threatened to throw someone off a building and call it helping. A small smile slowly spread on Gohan's face. "You really would throw me off, wouldn't you?" Gohan teased, suddenly happy that his mentor, no his best friend was with him.

Piccolo smirked, As he studied Gohan "Yep. You like Korin right? Well I'll just throw you over to see him." Piccolo spoke sarcastically humor clear in his voice.

Gohan laughed, he was mesmerized for a moment by the tall, green-skinned Namekian. It always surprised him how Piccolo could make him feel so many things. A moment ago he had been filled with despair and agony. But with a few words from Piccolo, he was laughing and smiling again! It confused him.

Gohan shook his head, trying to ignore the strange warm feelings that seemed to creep up any time he was around Piccolo.

Gohan sighed in defeat, he walked to the edge of the Lookout, staring dejectedly up at the night sky then turned towards Piccolo "It's hard not to blame myself Piccolo, so much of what happened only happened because of me. It's hard but I know your right. I'll try to do better." Gohan promised his expression earnest.

They stood faceing the other, caught in eacheothers gaze. Sweat dripped down Gohan's face, While Piccolo stood stoic his face impassive. The stars shined their light as the night seemed to grow darker, casting shadows everywhere.

Piccolo sat down, his large build barely making a sound. He motioned to Gohan to join him. Once they were both sitting Piccolo bopped Gohan on the head. "Ow that hurt, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan whined.

Piccolo simply chuckled. "You were being foolish, so I knocked some sense into you. Warrior's don't try, they do. And your a powerful warrior. You don't have to face this on your own. Just reach out your hand for help and someone will always be there to take it." His smirk swiftly became a frown as Piccolo face turned serious, "I really don't care for the mushy stuff, but this needs to be said. I am always here for you Gohan, I don't blame you for anything, I simply want you to be happy. You are a strong, kind hearted young man and I am proud to have been your teacher."

Piccolo turned away embarrassed to have shown his kinder side, but for Gohan he would do anything.

Gohan was touched.

Knowing that Mr. Piccolo valued him so much made him realize that maybe he wasn't such a screw up after all.

He smiled as he took Piccolo's hand, noticing the faint trace of purple on the Namekian's cheek. "Thank you Piccolo. Having you here with me has brought me so much happiness! I care about you, a lot! And I am glad that you are more than just my mentor, your my best friend. I don't think I will ever quite get over my father's death or stop blaming myself for my failure. But I will reach out my hand and as long as your there to grab it I will be ok. I will give it my best untill this pain I feel is outweighed by joy and happiness." Gohan softly spoke as he cried silent tears.

With smiles on their faces, though Piccolo tried to hid his, they watched the stars. Enjoying the peace and solitude, both ignored the fact that Gohan was still holding Piccolo's hand.

For the rest of the night, they talked and laughed together. Both getting to know the other as more than student and teacher, but as friends.

It felt good talking to Piccolo, Gohan had forgotten how funny and sarcastic Piccolo could be.

He had laughed and smiled more tonight than he had done in a year! As he listened to Piccolo talk, he noticed his soft green skin and enticing rain/wild flower scent Gohan couldn't help but think that being here with Piccolo was the happiest moment of his life.

Today had seemed like it would be a another day of suffering for Gohan but because of a 7ft tall, green-skinned namekian, today had turned into one of the best days of his life. He knew their was much more he needed to resolve, his life was still a total mess but with Piccolo by his side it didn't seem so impossible. He knew he could overcome his doubts and insecurities because Piccolo believed in him! And he would make him proud!

Piccolo watched his student, now his friend, as he slept. They had stayed up all night talking. Piccolo wasn't much for communication, but like always, Gohan was the exception.

He had actually enjoyed himself, he hated mushy stuff but talking to Gohan and discussing everything had been alright. He had learned a lot about his former pupil and was honored to call him friend. He knew this would not be easy, Gohan had issues that they barely scratched the surface of.

But Piccolo was in for the long haul, he would stand by his side till he was no longer needed. Gohan would be ok, he would become someone great, marry a women like his mother and live a good life. While Piccolo would quietly leave Gohan's life until he was needed again. Piccolo did not feel sad that his time with Gohan was limited, his only wish was to be of use to Gohan and make him happy.

That is why he had to help Gohan heal so he could become the man, the warrior, the hero, he knew he could be!

Because Gohan's happiness was the most important of all.

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Author's note:

Gohan and Piccolo meet in this chapter.

Gohan is 12 years old and still dealing with the fall out of Goku's death. He is depressed and blames himself for the break down of the Z-Fighters.

The Z-FIGHTERS have fallen apart without Goku, they are so used to the Dragonballs magically fixing everything that they don't know how to cope with Goku's permanent death.

Piccolo seems to be the only one dealing with Goku's death in a healthy way. He alone is training and trying to help Gohan.

In this chapter Gohan is getting strange warm feelings around Piccolo. He is also starting to notice that Piccolo makes him happy. Gohan is still clueless on what these things mean. But he will realize as time goes on.

Piccolo is just happy to have Gohan as a friend and comrade. He wants to help him and stay by his side. He takes his vow seriously.


	3. Chapter 3

Gohan was sweating, breathing harshly as he tried to calm his racing heart.

It had been a dream.

Only a dream, but Gohan was shaken. His distress was palpable as he stumbled out of bed, the air cool as he stared at himself in the mirror.

He tiredly leaned over the bathroom sink, limbs faintly trembling as he splashed cold water in his face, hoping it would wash away the images that constantly tormented his young mind.

Gohan slumped in defeat as he leaned against the wall. He knew the dream wasn't real, it was only a nightmare, a nightmare that refused to leave him alone no matter how hard he tried to eliminate it.

Gohan had been having the same dream every night in varying intensity, since his father's death. It had always started with Cell tauting him, laughing at his failure to save the world and his love ones. Cell would call him weak, that it was his fault his father was dead, and that he would always fall short, because he was a failure. The dream would then flash to his father standing commandingly ready to face his death, he would look at Gohan in such disappointment without saying a word then he turned and walked away.

That part of the dream always brought him to tears and filled him with self-loathing. For it only echoed what he already thought about himself. But the worst part was when the dream suddenly changed and it was Piccolo dying and Gohan failing to save him.

That part of the dream had wrenched him him awake so violently that he was still reeling from it. And now he didn't know what to do.

Gohan stood up, his legs shaky as he made his way back to his bed. He sank gratefully into the softness of his bed, exhaustion filling every inch of his body. As his mind turned to his favorite namek, he couldn't help but worry. He had never dreamed of Piccolo being harmed before. His dreams had always consisted of his dad and Cell, never Piccolo. Gohan didn't know what to think, he only knew that the image of Piccolo being harmed or dying had him overcome with fear. Just the thought of Piccolo dying or being hurt, filled Gohan with pain. He had already lost his father, and that had nearly broken him. He knew that if he lost Piccolo there would be no turning back, because a world without Piccolo was a world not worth living in. It frightened him how intense his feelings were towards the namekian.

Piccolo was his friend, his best friend, and really his only friend. Having such feelings was not normal nor fair to his master. Piccolo had always been there for him, a steady presence in the chaos that was Gohan's life. When the world required and took so much from him, Piccolo gave it back by only wanting Gohan to be happy. Piccolo had never tried to force Gohan to be something he was not, nor did he try to mold him into an image or ideal that he wanted him to be.

Unlike both his parents, who only wanted him to follow either of the two divergent paths that they laid out for him, Piccolo understood him and wanted him to follow the path of his own choosing. He had never been a fighter, unlike his father who lived for battle, Gohan had always wanted peace and lived for the quiet moments of tranquility with his mentor Piccolo. Circumstances had led to him learning to fight and becoming a warrior but it did not change the fact that inherently Gohan at his core was a pacifist.

He knew that his father had always assumed that because Gohan was a saiyan-jin that he should love fighting, but he never did. He had only really done it because he needed to help protect earth and it was something he could bond with his father over. Gohan had always known that fighting was the only thing his father really cared about. It sounds harsh but Gohan had finally come to grips with the fact that he was different from both Vegeta and Goku because for them, fighting and getting stronger was all that mattered.

Sometimes he wished he wasn't such an anomaly, that he could be all human or all saiyan and not the half-breed he was. It sometimes felt as if he was the only one of his kind and that he was the alien. Too different to be a saiyan and too different to be human. A freak. A being that didn't belong to either world.

Gohan sighed tiredly as he leaned against the headboard, he stared unseeingly at the ceiling, the room quiet around him. He could hear the faint cries of his mother, barely muffled by the walls that separated them. Gohan clenched his fist, eyes shut tight as the cries of his mother soon tapered off, leaving the room quiet once again. But Gohan knew that his mother was still staining her pillow with tears as guilt once again filled him.

"Damn it! No twelve year old should have to hear their own mother cry! Gohan muttered roughly. He glared accusingly towards the ceiling, filled with rage at his departed father "I hope your happy dad! I hope it was worth it! While your up their in Otherworld training and having the time of your life, we are left here to suffer! But I doubt you care about that as long as you can train as much as you want that's all that matters!" Gohan whispered forcefully, filled with bitterness.

He knew that he was talking to an empty room and that his father did not hear him, but he didn't care! Gohan needed to speak, to say these things out loud because if he kept them bottled inside he would explode!

The only time he had ever been able to express himself was a couple of weeks ago when Mr. Piccolo had confronted him at Kami's Lookout. That had been the day he had began to see his mentor in a new light.

Piccolo had listened to him, hugged him, held him in his arms and really been there for Gohan. He had been the safehaven and rock Gohan had needed to keep him from spiralling out of control. For a long time Gohan had blamed himself for his father's death but Piccolo had helped him see that Goku was a grown man and had let a child fight a battle he had no business fighting alone. Piccolo had taught him that he needed to forgive himself and that he needed to express his feelings and not keep them bottled up.

Gohan had been shocked that it was the stern, stoic, and serious Piccolo who was advocating talking and sharing feelings. It amazed him that the namek who was so against useless chatter and "mushy stuff" would hug him and be the one to reach out to help Gohan especially when Gohan knew in the past Piccolo was so against such things he would rage and show his fangs in anger. Feelings and emotions made Piccolo uncomfortable so for him to reach out to Gohan and willingly put himself in a position that exposed him to both made Gohan look at his mentor in an entirely new way.

A ghost of a smile filled Gohan's face as he thought about his mentor. His mind had jumped from so many things in such a short time. He stood up and stretched his tense muscles. His footsteps quiet as he padded across the floor towards his desk where he kept his most prized possession, a brown leather journal. As soon as he picked it up, it was like his mind was no longer consumed by his many racing thoughts. Just having it in his possession brought Gohan peace.

This journal meant so much to him because it had been a gift from his favorite person, Piccolo.

Gohan had a tendency to get lost in his mind and Piccolo felt that with everything he had been through he needed a healthier outlet. So he had been gifted a brown leather journal from the namekian. Piccolo had instructed him that writing his thoughts down was a healthier way to express his mixed up thoughts and emotions.

Gohan had been ecstatic! To receive a gift from Piccolo was a gift in itself, because Piccolo didn't put much stock in such human customs but for him to show such unlooked for kindness showed Gohan once again that Piccolo was the kindest, most understanding pure-hearted person he had ever met. It angered him greatly when others called him a demon or thought he was bad or evil, if only they knew or could see what he sees everytime he was in Piccolo's presence then they would know what an angel looks like. Gohan held the journal to his chest, he could still faintly smell Piccolo sweet scent of lemongrass and cinnamon.

He breathed in the scent deeply and was nearly overcome with desire. Gohan stood there shaking. He had never been so affected by Piccolo's scent before. He had never been aroused before, being only twelve years old he had no experience nor prior knowledge to go on. Gohan placed the journal back on his desk and backed away from it. _As if I wasn't a freak before it would be Piccolo's scent that would give me my very first boner!_ Gohan rolled his eyes at the irony, a wry smile covering his face as he stared down at his hardened appendage. He sighed sadly as he realized his mentor would never look at him as anything but a child even though he was only four years younger than him.

He had always loved Piccolo. He used to scream it loudly to whoever would listen now he wasn't too surprised that his confusing feelings for the namekian had changed in such an alarming way. He had hoped his feelings would go back to the love and childish admiration they once were, but he had a feeling this was just the tip of the iceberg. _It was that damn hug he gave me on the lookout! If I had never hugged him my feelings probably would still be the same! But now I know how soft Piccolo is, how smooth his skin, how good he smells...mmhmm..._ Gohan purred as memories of Piccolo filled his mind. Gohan shook his head trying to calm his body down from his heated fantasies. _Hercule in a bikini!_ Yep that worked. Gohan looked down at his soft member, still embarrassed that he had gotten hard from sniffing Piccolo's scent off his journal.

Gohan picked up his journal once again, careful not to bring it to close lest he lose control once again. He grabbed a pen and began to write. He wrote down his thoughts about his complicated feelings toward father, his hatred of Cell, but most of all his secret feelings toward Piccolo.

He wrote everything down until he had nothing left to write. He poured everything into the blank white pages. All of his pain, confusion, and dispair went into the journal. He wrote his soul on those pages. Gohan stared down at the words in black ink, he felt like the burden he had been carrying for so long was slowly being lightened. He knew it would take time to untangle the thoughts and emotions that threatened to drown him but he was confident that he would make it through. Piccolo had told him that this was the first step to healing and that he was never alone. He had his friends and family behind him and they would always be there. But for Gohan, he knew that as long as he had Piccolo in his corner he would make it. He would overcome his feelings of guilt and inadequacy. He would not lose! Because Piccolo believed in him and he would never let him down!


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys! I hope you digging the story so far!**

 **In this chapter Gohan starts to feel things for Piccolo. Gohan is going through a lot right now so he has a lot to figure out and go through.**

 **Enjoy!**

Piccolo's body was made for him.

Gohan could do nothing but stare at the green namekian standing rigid before him. The desire to grab him and ravish that beautiful body filled his mind with lust and longing. They were standing in a desolute waste land, one of their favorite training spots. Gohan was panting, out of breath as he regarded the namekian.

Gohan was transfixed. Piccolo's clothes were in tatters, his gi barely covering his luscious hips and thighs. Gohan's eyes seemed to burn with liquid fire as he gazed at Piccolo's chest, which was bare and glistening with sweat.

Gohan knew he needed to calm down.

Piccolo had invited him out to train. The namekian warrior had explained that a good spar would help him assess the demi-saiyan's skills as well as his mental and emotional state.

Gohan had known coming here would be a mistake. After last nights revelations about his changing feelings for his mentor and best friend, Piccolo. Gohan now knew he had only been fooling himself. _Nothing would ever be the same again!_

Gohan took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. He fought to gain back control as a dark feeling of possessiveness and dominance almost drowned him. _Get a grip Gohan!_ He admonished himself, Piccolo was his friend! He refused to let these strange new feelings ruin the one good thing he still had in his life!

Last night he had done a lot of thinking after writing in his journal. He had realized that to much had changed in his life. He had lost his dad, the Z-Fighters were a wreck, and he had been forced to take on more responsibility for his mother and baby brother than a 12 year old boy could ever handle!

Piccolo was the only bright spot in his life!

Gohan refused to let his relationship with Piccolo become another casualty because of his fucked up feelings!

 _Piccolo would never even look at me like that. These feelings are nothing but trouble!_

Gohan had to destroy these feelings ASAP! He could only imagine the look of disgust Piccolo would give him if he ever found out how Gohan really felt about him. _If he only knew the dirty thoughts I have for him...the dirty things I would_ ** _do_** _to him..._

"Gohan, if your done being a statue, I would really like to get back to ramming your face with my fist! Piccolo smirked mockingly.

Gohan jumped, startled, So lost in thought he had nearly forgotten he was supposed to be fighting right now.

Gohan narrowed his eyes, Piccolo's mocking words and arrogant stance had nearly made him lose the control he'd finally managed to gain.

 _It won't be you doing the ramming. And it most_ ** _definitely_** _won't be my fist ramming nor your face that gets rammed._ The dirty thought flickered heatedly through Gohan's mind so fast that he was stunned. It shook him that he could even have such a dirty thought! As he blushed red all over embarrassment filled him!

 _What in the hell is happening to me! First a hard-on, now this!_

"Gohan, should I age myself again? Because if I wait on you to actually make a move! I'll be the same age as that damn Kami!" Piccolo stated frustrated with Gohans lack of movement.

 _Oh I'll make a move alright..._

 _Damn it! I did it again, I'm losing it!_

The darn kid was starting to get on his nerves! He was just standing there staring! Piccolo glared.

Piccolo didn't know how to interpret the odd behavior Gohan was exhibiting. Humans could be odd and saiyans even odder. But Gohan had never been that hard to figure out, even with all the changes that had taken place in the past year, Gohan had still been easy to understand and help.

But ever since their talk on the Lookout, things had been... _different._ Gohan had been _different_. And Piccolo didn't know how to help him...its wasn't that Piccolo didn't want to help his friend and protege he didn't know _how_? And it was frustrating to no end! Piccolo prided himself on being intelligent, cunning, strategic and wise. So for him to be at such a loss on how to help Gohan was a letdown.

It made him question if he was even worthy to even be a help to Gohan? If maybe because of his complete and utter lack of understanding human social mores and behavioral cues which may have put him at a complete disadvantaged.

Piccolo sighed, shaking his head dejectedly as he observed Gohan.

He watched as the demi-saiyan seemed to zone out once again for the third time during their training session. More and more he wondered if maybe he made a mistake inviting him. Maybe Gohan wasn't ready? Maybe he needed more time to grieve his father? But Piccolo quickly shook the thought out of his head, None of that explained Gohan's erratic behavior nor the emotions he sensed from the saiyan hybrid.

His bond with Gohan allowed him to feel Gohan's confusion and self-hatred but the other emotions were hard for him to identify since he'd never felt them before. All Piccolo knew was that Gohan was feeling some deep emotions that he hated and was confused about.

Piccolo once again noticed how Gohan, usually pale, suddenly turned bright red for no reason. He knew of the human ability to change color or _blush_ as he'd been informed but he had no idea why the boy was doing it now. Humans were confusing on a good day and no doubt a saiyan-human hybrid combo was no walk in the park! So Piccolo decided to cut the training session and his protege some slack and _find out what the hell was wrong with the kid!_

"Gohan, if your done going all red instead of all super saiyan we can end this sorry attempt at sparring. I don't know whats your deal kid, but its not going to cut it on the battle field." Piccolo spoke gruffly arms folded across his chest as he shook his head. He slowly descended until he landed sofly on the ground, his eyes narrowed as he stared up at Gohan from the ground.

The area was silent around them as Piccolo started to walk away. His steps silent, his gate graceful, as Gohan stared. His gaze enraptured watching his mentors powerful stride until he realize Piccolo was leaving him!

Gohan scrambled to catch up as he flew, nearly stumbling once he reached the ground as he raced to catch up to the namekian.

"Wait...Piccolo! Don't leave me! I thought we were training!" Gohan yelled out frantically. Piccolo stopped abruptly, Causing Gohan to slam into his back.

"No I was training, you were doing your stare and zone out...thing. So I decided to leave you to it until your ready to train." Piccolo stated simply and continued to walk away.

"Gohan, when your ready to talk. I'll be here." Piccolo said simply as he powered up and flew off to his waterfall. He had a lot to think about and meditate over. He hoped that Gohan would open up because Piccolo hated not being able to help the only person who had ever given him a chance.

Gohan stared after him, feeling bad that he had wasted his friend's time. He had wanted to train and spend time with ethereal green namekian but his delicious scent and beautiful body had made that impossible.

When he'd first encountered Piccolo for their sparring session, Piccolo had smelled of his typical sweet scent of rain and wildflowers. It wasn't until their fight had gotten underway that he'd breathed in cinnamon and Lemongrass. Gohan had almost lost his mind. It had taken everything to remain unaffected and not tipoff Piccolo that something was wrong. Though he'd kinda failed in that aspect atleast he hadn't done anything that he would regret.

Piccolo didn't realize how close he came to being flat on his back with a horny saiyan ravishing him mercilessly.

Gohan did not understand his chaotic saiyan instincts. They urged him to dominate the namekian, to possess him and show him who he belonged too.

It was freaking Gohan out!

All during the training session he'd tried to fight his instincts that pushed him to do things to Piccolo that he barely understood. Ever since last night when he had smelled that tantalizing scent of lemongrass and cinnamon he had been wrestling with himself. While sparring Piccolo he'd smelled a faint whiff of the scent every time he'd got within an inch of Piccolo. He knew he disappointed his mentor with his distracted state but he knew if he had done anything different he had no doubt that he would have hurt his Mr. Piccolo.

Gohan was horrified. He did not want to feel like this he wanted everything to go back to normal but he was starting to see that his life would never be normal.

He knew he was weird for feeling this way for a 7ft tall green skinned teenager who looked like an adult who was only 4 years older than him. And to make matters worse Piccolo was a guy!

He'd already lost his dad did he really have to contemplate his sexuality on top of that! Damn it! He wasn't gay! But he couldn't deny that Piccolo had looked so goooood!

Gohan flew up and sat down on the cliff face watching the sunset. He leaned back remembering that his old friend Dende had explained that Namekians had both male and female parts.

Gohan sighed. "What am I even doing? Why am I even thinking of this?" Gohan felling sad and frustrated laid down, staring up at the beauty that was the sky. Its vivid colors painting the sky pink, purple, orange.

Gohan knew he had to get a handle on his feelings. He had to do everything he could because he refuse to lose Piccolo! He would hide these forbidden feelings. Put them in a box so he never revealed them to his namek because Gohan loved Piccolo and he would never impose his unwanted feelings on the innocent and clueless namekian.

Gohan understood in that moment that Piccolo was it for him. And now his life would never be the same again.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Gohan has decided to hide his feelings. Right now they are to much to deal with so he is putting them on the back burner. Gohan will not stop loving Piccolo. But right now he just 12 Gohan will be in his late teens before things heat up.**


	5. Hunting prey

**Chapter 5:**

 **Piccolo:**

Gohan had been acting weird lately. Every time Piccolo had tried to talk to him or invite him to train, Gohan had used one excuse after another to avoid him. It was to the point, that Piccolo was ready to show up at the banshee's house and drag Gohan out of there so they could have it out.

Piccolo wasn't big on heart to hearts or sharing feelings, but this thing with Gohan was becoming ridiculous! He didn't know what he had done to turn Gohan away from him. It pained him to admit, even to himself, but he missed the kid and it hurt him that Gohan would rather run away from him than be in his presence. Piccolo had thought that they'd made progress, dealing with Gohan's grief and anger in more healthy and positive ways. Instead, the kid was determined to stay away from him.

Piccolo sat beside the waterfall, the one constant in his life. An unchanging and flowing companion that had seen him through many confusing moments. He stared at the beautiful view, the soft sound of rushing water, the sweet chattering of birds, the colorful flowers blooming and the playful butterflies that fluttered around him. Piccolo would usually be at ease with such a sight, content in the stillness of nature, but now all he felt was sadness.

What had he done wrong!? Where had he failed? Piccolo wished he understood whatever faux pas or misstep he'd made that had Gohan so desperate to be away from him that he'd willingly choose to deal with his mother. Chi-Chi had become even more unbearable since Goku's death. Piccolo sighed, maybe it was time to accept that Gohan no longer needed him in his life. A pain like he'd never felt before seemed to spear right through Piccolo's heart. Being seperated from Gohan, his best friend, the only person in the entire world who had never let him down, who had shown him nothing but kindness physically hurt him.

Piccolo stood, his cape fluttered around him as he moved. The tall, stately being walked with grace, his steps light upon the forest floor. The animals and forest creatures, usually afraid of two-legged beings, frolicked without fear of the fanged Namekian. The creatures knew he was peaceful and safe to be near, so they played happily. The humans may have seen him as a monster or a demon but the animals of the forest knew he was as gentle as a dove.

Piccolo came to his favorite clearing, it was a meadow filled with beautiful flowers. The Z-Fighters would be shocked to see the usually stoic and tough Piccolo, laying in a field of flowers. Piccolo took a deep breath, the sweet aroma of daisies and daffodils filled his nose and calmed him.

Piccolo, though sad, was finally at peace. He would fulfill the vow he'd made that day on the Lookout. No matter how Gohan treated him, Piccolo would always be there for him, ready and willing to help and support him.

Piccolo didn't mind giving all he was to Gohan, because too him, Gohan had given him the greatest gift of all, his friendship.

Piccolo decided he would give Gohan the space he needed. He trusted his friend to do what he thought was best for his life and if staying away from Piccolo helped Gohan find peace, then Piccolo would accept that. Because Gohan mattered above all others. Piccolo closed his eyes, satisfied with his decision.

 **Gohan** :

Gohan couldn't help but stare at the resting namekian laying among the flowers, he had been watching Piccolo the entire time.

Gohan lowered his power level to such a degree it was almost nonexistent. He knew that Piccolo had supersonic hearing so he had made it a point to stay silent and move quietly. He had learned to be silent from the best. It was ironic that the very skill taught to him by the namekian warrior was being used to spy on him. Gohan had a feeling, this was not what Piccolo had in mind when he'd showed him how to evade namekian hearing.

Gohan stalked his prey like the predator he was. It was times like these that Gohan was reminded that saiyans, at their base, were animals. Hell, they changed into giant monkeys for crying out loud! If that wasn't the very definition of "beast mode" then he didn't know what was!

Gohan couldn't help watching Piccolo, he hated being separated from his mentor, but he did not trust himself. His chaotic and aggressive new feelings were dangerous. If he allowed himself to lose control, Gohan was afraid of what he might do to his oldest friend.

Gohan was mesmerized by Piccolo's beauty. To see his strong, gorgeous body surrounded by delicate little flowers only made Gohan yearn for him more. He wanted to lay down beside him and stare into Piccolo's beautiful eyes. But Gohan knew that would never happen.

It had been hell staying away from Piccolo.

Gohan barely even lasted one day, before he was devising a plan that would allow him to see his beloved Piccolo, but still keep his distance.

Piccolo had become the only light in his life, his reason to be happy. So to be without him, was hell.

Gohan felt like a stalker. Hell, he was a stalker! The fact that he had to hide his presence from his beloved, while he secretly watched him and followed him around, made Gohan feel more and more like a creep. But he had to! Piccolo needed to be safe!

Gohan didn't really understand the new feelings and instincts that were bombarding his body. But he knew one thing, it wanted him to take the namekian and dominate him! Every single time he tried to ignore that part of himself and go see Piccolo, he ended up almost losing control and ravishing his friend. It was driving him crazy! He didn't want to hurt his innocent friend, Piccolo knew nothing about love and...sex. Unlike Gohan, who was very well read for his age and had been given the talk a long time ago, The namekian was surprisingly naive and innocent when it came to such matters.

It took everything in him not to grab Piccolo while they were sparring and bite his luscious neck. Or lick his delectable antennae. Or touch his gorgeous body! Gohan was almost at the end of his rope. He needed help! He didn't want to hurt his friend or do something against his will, so Gohan stayed away, afraid of the possessive feelings that seemed to only get out of control when around Piccolo.

So he stalked him. He followed Piccolo around like a lost puppy, watching his every move.

Gohan gazed at Piccolo dreamily, he looked so peaceful and content laying in a bed of flowers. Gohan had learned from his heavy stalking that Piccolo loved nature and had a fondness for flowers. So such moments were plentiful for the green skinned namekian. Watching Piccolo in nature was becoming Gohan's favorite thing to do.

He hated that he had to lie to his best and most precious friend. But Gohan knew Piccolo's safety was at stake and he didn't take that lightly.

He'd come up with so many different excuses. He'd even suffered his mother's overprotective and overbearing nature, just to keep Piccolo away, but it had failed to keep Gohan away!

Gohan wanted Piccolo.

He knew his saiyan nature was the culprit for these new turbulent emotions. Ascending to Super Saiyan 2 had changed him. It had unlocked and unleashed something primal within him. Whatever it was, had locked onto Piccolo and caused Gohan to go nuts every time he was in the namekians presence.

So here he was, hiding in plain sight. High up in the trees that surrounded the meadow, staring down at the gorgeous and majestic Piccolo Diamao jr.

Gohan didn't understand his almost feverish need to follow Piccolo around. It was almost compulsive the way Gohan needed to keep Piccolo within his sight.

Gohan had always secretly believed that Saiyans were a ruthless and barbaric race, ruled by there need to fight and get stronger. Gohan had always felt different from them, defective. But now instead of the need to fight and get stronger, he felt the need to mate and mark Piccolo!

Gohan could feel the urge to dominate creep into him. Dirty thoughts teased him. They whispered how easy it would be to sneak into the clearing, rip Piccolo's gi to shreds and devour his delectable body until they were both lost in pleasure. It was then Gohan knew it was time to go. He flew quietly away from the clearing. Happy once again his mentor had taught him how to lower his power level and evade namekian hearing.

Gohan returned home, the simple little house filled him with dread. He entered the house quietly, hoping he could get to his room without anybody noticing.

"Gohan! Where have you been!" Chi-Chi yelled angrily, while Gohan's baby brother dangled from her hip. Gohan sighed. Already knowing it was going to be one of those days. Chi-Chi was having one of her "bad" days. The days where she yelled and screamed and blamed everyone for her husband's death and mistakes.

"I was out mom, training. Please, just let this go. Let's not do this today. I'm tired and would like to go up to my room." Gohan begged tiredly. He didn't want to deal with his mother's bad mood.

"GOHAN-CHA! I am your mother! I have a right to know where you are at any given time! You were probably with that damn demon!" Chi-Chi hissed out enraged. Goten started to cry, scared of his mother's loud yelling.

Gohan glared at his mother as he took his little brother out of her arms and started to make his way upstairs.

"That " _demon_ " as you so rudely stated, has a name! And no, I was not with him, I was training! Please, just leave me alone mom! I got Goten, go get some air cause you need it! You being angry and yelling will not bring dad back." Gohan snapped out harshly.

Tired of dealing with the mess that was his mother, Gohan turned away, not wanting to get into another screaming match with her. In that moment, Gohan hated his father Goku. He had left Gohan to raise his brother and deal with his mother, while he happily trained in Otherworld. It just wasn't fair that everything seemed to fall into his lap. He was just a kid, but already he had responsibilities that most 12 year olds didn't have to worry about.

Tears filled Chi-Chi's eyes at Gohan's harsh words as she turned, running away crying. He heard her door slam violently, while broken sobs filled the house. Gohan cursed, frustrated with himself for making his mother cry. He hadn't meant to hurt her but like always his chaotic emotions had caused him to lash out.

He held a whimpering Goten in his arms. Gohan held his little brother close, whispering gently and soothingly to the baby saiyan. Gohan stared down at the little spitting image of his father. It had been hard looking at Goten at first, the baby favored their father so much he could be his clone. But Gohan loved his little brother, he was the only good thing his father had ever left them.

Gohan sighed, "Looks like it's just you and me, tonight, buddy." Gohan whispered sheepishly to the baby.

Nights like this, Gohan took care of Goten, their mother was still devastated by their father's death and abandonment, so Gohan picked up the slack. Gohan loved his mother. He knew it had been hard for her, especially being pregnant and having a baby all alone. Gohan didn't blame his mother for her behavior, she was trying her best, she had to raise Two boys on her own, with no husband and no money. The Z-Fighters hadn't been kind to his poor mother, their silent judgment and blame only made things worse. Gohan felt torn, how do you help your mother when you can barely help yourself?

After eating 6 bowls of rice, 10 pieces of fish and a whole dinosaur, Gohan was stuffed. He bathed Goten, fed him 6 bottles of milk and put him to bed. He gazed at the baby, his cute little brother was in a milk coma! His little tail curled to the side. Gohan smiled tenderly as he wrapped himself around his precious sibling, exhaustion finally catching up with him.

As he yawned tiredly, Gohan couldn't help but think that he needed to do something about his chaotic and possessive emotions. He could not continue acting like this! It wasn't fair to Piccolo, he didn't deserve it. Gohan decided that he had to talk to the only authority on saiyans that he had, Vegeta.


	6. Desperate desire

**Chapter 6**

It was the day before Gohan's 13th birthday. His mother had wanted to have a quiet get-together at home, but Bulma and the Z-Fighters had argued that 13 was an important age and that Goku would have wanted them to go all out for his firstborn son. So after much yelling and arguments it was decided that his birthday would take place at Capsule Corp.

Gohan hadn't really cared where they had it, he just wanted everyone to get along. He was tired of playing mediator between "mature" adults.

Though having his party at Capsule Corp might be just what he needed. He had been trying for months to talk to Vegeta. He would show up, asking to train but like always he was given excuses. Gohan even snuck into the anti-Gravity chamber hoping to lure the saiyan out, but Vegeta never budged. He just laid in his room watching daytime television.

Gohan was starting to understand how Piccolo must be feeling.

Ever since his dad died, Vegeta had given up. He had stopped training, stopped fighting, stopped trying to get stronger. It was as if he had lost his reason for living. All he did was watch television, lay in the bed and eat. He didn't even insult anybody! Vegeta had lost the will to fight.

Gohan hated seeing the once proud saiyan Prince, brought so low. This was just another thing Gohan laid at his father's feet. His father had never given one thought to how his death would affect those left behind. What made it worse was that he chose to stay dead! To Gohan, it was no different than suicide. Because the family was always left wondering why? Why weren't they enough to live for? Why was death a better option for Goku than being with his family. What had they done to drive him away?

Gohan shook his head angrily, the others could believe that stupid excuse about protecting the earth, but Gohan didn't buy it. He saw it for the cop-out it was. If his father really believed that he was a danger to the earth, and that he brought nothing but trouble to it, then the least he could have done was prepare them for his demise!

Gohan knew his father better than anyone. Without hero-worship clouding his mind or guilt destroying his soul, he could see things clearly. His father may be a happy go-lucky type of guy, but he was oddly calculating and strategic during battle.

So it didn't take a genius to figure out that his father had known in advance that he would stay dead long before his battle with Cell. The thought really didn't surprise Gohan much.

Contrary to popular belief, Goku wasn't as stupid as most people thought he was, at least when it came to battle. Not to say Goku died on purpose or that he knew he would be killed by Cell, but that, if he did die during the fight, he would choose not to be wished back. Gohan didn't doubt for one second that Goku didn't have a contingency plan all along.

But what angered him the most, what made Gohan so damn furious! Was the utter lack of care, the total disregard for his family, his wife, the people that loved him! Goku could have told them. Explained his feelings and concerns. Helped them understand things from his point of view. They would have listened. Hell, his father was so damn persuasive he could have had them agreeing with him that death was the best option. The least he could have done was prepared them for his death and his inevitable decision to stay in OtherWorld. I mean what was the point of future Trunks even coming and preventing Goku's death if he was going to die and stay dead anyway!

Hell, he could've at least told his wife! Gohan's poor mother deserved so much better than that! He didn't even have the decency to say goodbye!

Instead, we found out just like everybody else, up on the lookout mid-wish, smiling like fools, excited to bring Goku back home!

So Imagine our surprise when the Dragon told us no, he couldn't do it. The Dragon that had infinite power could not bring Goku home. We stood there, smiles frozen on each of our faces, shocked by the ancient dragon's words. But it was when we heard my father's voice; saying he was choosing to stay dead,that it all made sense. The Dragon, that could raise the dead, couldn't bring his father back not because he was unable too, but because his father didn't want to come back! It was then, that Gohan's world came crashing down.

It was all over. The beginning of the end. Vegeta and the rest of the Z-Fighters haven't been the same since.

His father hadn't even considered anybody when he chose to stay dead. He hadn't cared. He had simply done what he wanted. His father just expected them to accept him leaving, like always, like it was something simple! Like it wasn't death! He treated it like one great adventure! With happiness clear in his voice, he gave them a bullshit excuse and had the nerve to admit it was "kinda a raw deal for him and his mother!" Gohan thought, enraged.

Gohan grabbed his journal, needing it's comforting presence to calm him down. Even though he was avoiding Piccolo, he was still practicing the techniques he'd been taught to help manage his grief and anger. And Gohan had a lot of anger.

Gohan laid down on his bed suddenly feeling tired. Thinking about his father always led to anger and exhaustion. He didn't know if he would ever get over it but he was taking it one day at a time. He no longer felt guilty, now he was trying to work through his anger. He had learned a lot about himself writing in his journal, he was starting see he had more hang-ups about his father than he'd realized. Gohan turned his mind away from his father, nothing good ever came from thinking about Goku.

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Gohan, lunch is ready." His mother spoke quietly through the door.

Gohan got up and walked downstairs. His mother was setting the table, while Goten was in his highchair making a mess as usual. Gohan gave his brother a kiss on the forehead, greeted his mother and sat down to eat.

Gohan ate the delicious food his mother had prepared. Except for the little noises Goten made and their utensils hitting the plates, the room was silent. Gohan could tell it was a "good" day for his mother, she didn't yell or scream at him nor did she make a place for his father at the table or break down in tears when she realized he really was gone. She was slowly but surely dealing with his loss.

"Gohan, is there anyone you want at your birthday party? Most everyone at Capsule Corp is your father's friend. Is there one kid your own age you can invite?" ChiChi asked him worriedly

"I worry about you Gohan, how will you make friends or get a girlfriend? I know now it was wrong to keep you so isolated here on this mountain. How can we expect you to function in the real world. All you know is fighting. Your father had you involved with a lot of violence and danger. I know I didn't help matters with making you study all the time, but I want better for you now." She stated fervently. Her gaze fierce.

Gohan could barely speak. His mother was actually admitting she was wrong! She even referenced his father without breaking down or crying! Gohan wondered if she was sick. He almost got up to check her temperature.

"Mom, please don't worry about me. Focus on you, ok. I know this last year hasn't been easy, for any of us. But I'm getting better. I don't have friends around my age, if you don't count Piccolo. I'm not worried about a girlfriend right now, I just want to become a better person. That's it. As for the isolation thing, when the time is right to deal with other people I'll be alright." Gohan said with a grin, the Son smile firmly in place.

ChiChi glared at the mention of Piccolo. "Gohan, how can you stand that...that... _alien_? He's a monster, not a kid like you! He's not even your age!" His mother exclaimed frustrated

Gohan put down his chopsticks slowly and looked directly at his mother, his expression serious. "Piccolo, mother. His name is Piccolo and He is my friend. He is not a monster or a demon! If he is an Alien then so am I! Hello, Tail!" He said pointing at Goten's tail. "Piccolo is only 4 years older than me. So he is still a kid, or should I say teenager. He's 16 and I'm 12 going on 13! So before you complain about Piccolo try to understand that he means a lot to me." Gohan demanded sternly. He picked up his chopsticks and continued to eat.

Chichi was stunned. Gohan had never spoken to her like that before. His voice had been deep and aggressive. Not the calm, polite and respectful tone she was used too but a voice that demanded respect and obedience.

Chichi nodded her head, conceding defeat. Gohan had always been funny about Piccolo. The green-skinned demon had a hold on her child that just wouldn't go away.

They ate in silence. Neither saying another word, until Gohan had finished eating, finally full.

He thanked his mother for the delicious meal, an gathered up his mountain of dirty dishes and took them to the sink, beginning to wash them up. Things had changed in the Son household. No longer did Chichi do the majority of the cleaning and housework. Unlike before, when his father was still living, Goku and Gohan would go out to train after leaving a mess for his mother to clean up. Now, Gohan pitched in, cleaning up behind himself as well as taking care of his baby brother.

He now understood how tough his mother had it, and made it a point to make things as easy on her as possible.

After finishing washing his dishes, he took Goten, cleaned him up and went to harvest the fields behind their house. His mother grew a lot of their own food, things had become so expensive for the small single parent family, money was very tight, so his mother tried to cut costs as best she could. Gohan did his part by harvesting the fresh fruits and vegetables and hunting dinosaurs and other animals so they could stay good and fed.

The sun was hot, beating down on Gohan as sweat trickled down his face while he worked the fields. His little brother was tied to his back in a sling,Gohan maneuvered around, flying back and forth tending the garden, as Goten giggled in joy. Every day, around lunch time, Gohan would take Goten to give his mother a much needed break.

Gohan's mind, like always, turned to Piccolo. He really wanted to talk to his friend, he missed Piccolo's wisdom and snarky comments. Gohan hadn't realized how lonely his life was without his beloved Piccolo. Stalking wasn't the same as having a conversation or enjoying each other's company.

Though watching Piccolo smell a flower or take a walk in the forest was awesome! But hiding behind a tree while he did it wasn't so awesome. Gohan was starting to hate these feelings. They made him feel like a bad guy or a criminal. Because this desire to own Piccolo was wrong. This need to make him submit to Gohan's power and dominance only confirmed that he was out of his mind! Such aggressive feelings were not like the usually good-natured, kind and mild-mannered boy. He was not this person, he was not this aggressive, possessive and obsessed wack job! He was a push-over damnit! He was suppose to be thinking about girls and holding hands, not about stripping his master naked and having his way with him! He was not supposed to dream about biting that delicious looking neck or licking Piccolo's pouty lips or antenna!

Gohan was supposed to be like most saiyans, obsessed with fighting and eating, not Piccolo!

He had barely ever seen his father kiss his mother! So why was he suddenly having thoughts of ravishing Piccolo fill his head?

Over the years, Gohan had watched Goku and Vegeta, the last of the pure-blood saiyans and noticed the relationship they shared with their wives. Both men cared about their wives but Gohan had realized that neither man was as affectionate or lustful towards their women as Gohan knew he would be towards Piccolo. Both men showed more passion towards fighting than on their wives. If Gohan ever got the chance to express the desire and passion he felt for the namekian, he knew he would never let him go!

Was this just one more thing that made him different? Made him more of a freak than he already was? Because Gohan felt like a freak. The things he wanted to do to Piccolo should be illegal. If this was puberty then he wanted a refund! Such dirty thoughts should never see the light of day.

They were so bad, that Gohan tried his hardest to stay away from Piccolo, lest he lose control and took the namek, face down ass up. Gohan shook his head, disturbed by his freaky thoughts. Piccolo did not deserve to be thought of like this. He was a warrior and deserved Gohan's respect and regard. Gohan felt nothing but self-loathing. Here he was, out in the fields with his baby brother on his back thinking such disgusting thoughts.

Gohan sighed dejectedly. He had finished harvesting all the fruits and veggies, and walked back into the house. The cool air felt wonderful on Gohan's hot skin. He laid all the produce on the table and called for his mother. His mom came in, wiping her hands on a towel, she looked relaxed and well-rested. Gohan smiled. Happy that he could give his mother peace and make life just a bit easier for her. His mother returned his smile, she picked Goten up, making the baby giggle in delight.

Gohan nodded to his mom and made his way upstairs, he needed a shower because he was stinking up the entire room.

Gohan grabbed his soap and towel and hopped into the shower. As the hot water ran over him, Gohan rested his forehead on the tiled wall. His hand crept slowly to the erection he'd been suppressing all day.

Thoughts of Piccolo swirled through his head. Squeezing his member harshly, Gohan could not help the surge of lust that stood ready to consume him. He tried fruitlessly to stave off the orgasm that was determined to unman him. A sharp picture of Piccolo's half naked state, flashed before his eyes and Gohan knew he was done for. Piccolo's ruined gi had hugged the nameks thick thighs and plump ass. Gohan, filled with lust, jerked his cock up and down roughly. He wanted to bite and squeeze that ass, lick Piccolo's broad chest that had glistened with sweat. Gohan's instincts had completely taken over, the dark lust and desire that he was constantly battling was having a field day! He was panting harshly as he continued to jerk-off, the hot water beat down on him the same way he was beating his dick, roughly. Fire filled his belly, while his mind was consumed with fantasies, his hand moved faster and faster over his cock, his dick throbbed with need,ready to erupt. He needed to cum. To feel the release that only thoughts of Piccolo could bring.

It felt so good.

He shivered, his skin sensitive, balls drawn tight. He rubbed the sensitive head of his cock spreading his essence around the thick, mushroom tip.

Gohan imagined Piccolo's plump pouty lips wrapped tight around his dick, sucking the tip hungrily

The thought was so hot, that Gohan lost it!

He came so hard, he saw stars. His knees buckled, his mind went blank, as he fell down, spent, in the shower. Globs and globs of cum continued to paint the shower floor, like an eruption cum flowed from his drooling dick. Gohan stared unseeingly, trapped in a daze. He laid there trembling from the aftershocks, feeling as limp as a wet noodle. That orgasm had been mind-blowing. Still filled with euphoria, Gohan finally got up. His mind was blank from coming so hard. He finally cleaned himself up, washing away the evidence of his cum.

Gohan got out the shower, body relaxed, his mind finally at peace.

Gohan had been masturbating for days. Ever since that night he'd gotten a boner for the first time, Gohan had been unable to keep himself from jerking off to thoughts of Piccolo. It was crazy how he went from never touching himself, to barely being able to stop tugging at his cock. Masturbating was the only thing that kept him from losing control. It was only through sheer force of will that he wasn't popping boners every time he saw or came in contact with Piccolo.

He really needed to talk to Vegeta. Gohan knew that simple human puberty was not like this. This was something more, something entirely Saiyan. Puberty didn't have you stalking people, it didn't have you wanting to bite and mark up others and it especially didn't fill you with the need to hunt and dominate your prey into submission! Nope, normal _human_ puberty did not cause all these weird symptoms. But it did cause him to want to masturbate all the time and have dirty fantasies about Piccolo.

Gohan sighed in frustration as he sat on his bed. He leaned back against his headboard. He stared down at his towel covered lap, wondering, in the privacy of his room, what Piccolo looked like under his gi. Gohan sighed. Even after a mind-blowing orgasm his mind still went right back to thinking about Piccolo. Gohan couldn't help but get excited at the thought of Piccolo naked. Was Dende right? Was Piccolo really both? Did he really have a cock and a vagina? What did they look like? What did they _taste_ like? Did Piccolo ever get aroused? Gohan was filled with curiosity, he wanted to know _everything_ about his green-skinned friend.

Gohan loved Piccolo's body. When Krillin and the others were all looking at dirty magazine's Gohan was imagining Piccolo instead. To him, Piccolo had the best body. Though he did think the girls were attractive in an "she's cute for a human" kind of way, none of them could hold a candle to Piccolo.

He sometimes wished that he could be honest and confess his feelings. He hated keeping such a big secret from his best friend. But Gohan knew Piccolo wasn't ready for Gohan's intense and rather passionate feelings. He wanted to kiss him, caress him, show Piccolo his love and utter devotion. Which, Gohan knew, would probably cause the namekian to punch him in the face.

Gohan shook his head, no matter where he was or what he was doing, his mind was always drawn to Piccolo. His body must have agreed because he was hard again. "Damn it!" Gohan muttered as he glared at his length. He tried to will it away, he didn't want to be jacking off all night! He nearly cried in frustration at how hard he was, he gripped his dick and began to jerk-off, hating himself for his weakness.

Sometimes he spent whole days jacking off in his room until he had rubbed himself raw.

Gohan was tired.

Tired of wanking. Tired of lying. Just tired! This was no way to live, he had become a prisoner inside his own body! Tomorrow was his 13th birthday. Gohan was determined to get to the bottom of this. He would corner Vegeta and end this hell! Because Gohan could no longer go another day suffering and not being able to talk to his beloved Piccolo.


	7. K'ala: The True History of Saiyans

**Gohan:**

It was the day of his birthday and Gohan was determined to talk to Vegeta. This time, he would not take no for an answer! He would get his answers and finally understand why he had become such a obsessed, possessive, freak!

Gohan snuck out of his house and flew to Capsule Corp. It was so early in the morning that darkness still covered everything. Gohan barely paid attention to the impressive and imposing compound once he touched down. His only focus was on talking to Vegeta. He flew to the back of the large building, Vegeta had his own room at the compound, one far away from all the hustle and bustle of the large corporation.

He hovered outside, the sun was barely peeking through the clouds. He knew that it was early, the ass crack of dawn early, but Gohan was desperate. He could not wait another minute to talk to the Saiyan Prince. He needed Vegeta's help, his knowledge of saiyans, and most importantly, to talk to the one person who could understand just a fraction of what Gohan was going through. Because Gohan was at the end of his rope.

He knocked on Vegeta's window, knowing the saiyan was awake and aware of his presence. Vegeta's ki remained steady the entire time, letting Gohan know that Vegeta had sensed his presence long before he'd stepped foot on Capsule Corps property.

He had barely moved his hand, before he was staring into the eyes of the snarky Saiyan prince.

Vegeta stared at him, expression stoic,his arms folded tightly across his chest. The two powerful warriors studied each other, their gaze intense. Both refused to look away or back down from the stand-off.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of having Kakarrot's brat grace me with his presence. Your a long way away from your namek, or are you still stupidly avoiding him, hmm?" Vegeta questioned knowingly, his gruff raspy voice mocking as he smirked at Gohan arrogantly.

Gohan was frozen in shock at Vegeta's words. He shook his head, sighing dejectedly. He should have known Vegeta would figure it out. The man for all his pride and bluster, was surprisingly astute. A part of him wanted to leave and never come back, to pretend he hadn't stooped so low as to actually need the arrogant prince but Gohan was no fool. He was honest and desperate enough to know when he needed help.

Gohan took a deep breath, then looked Vegeta dead in the eye and spoke. "Vegeta, I need your help. I've been having problems. _Saiyan_ problems, ever since I went super saiyan 2 the first time. The type of problems that I think only you can help me with." Gohan stated strongly. He knew he needed to speak with strength and assertiveness when dealing with Vegeta, the man hated all forms of weakness. Asking for help was bad enough, he didn't need to lower his chances by acting as pitiful as he felt. Really, there was no guarantee that Vegeta would even help him or just laugh in his face and reject him. All Gohan could do was hope that the saiyan took pity on him and was curious enough to at least hear him out.

Vegeta stared at Gohan, his expression curious. He didn't know what to make of the brat's cryptic words. All he knew was that for the first time since Kakarrot's death, Vegeta felt alert.

For so long he had been in a daze, trapped in a depression that had slowly started to destroy him. Nothing had moved him or interested him, life had truly lost all meaning. Now Kakarrot's brat was begging for his help and Vegeta couldn't help but to be intrigued by the boy's words.

"So brat, you need my help, you say?" Vegeta asked smugly raising a brow at Kakarot's oldest son.

Gohan simply nodded. He didn't care that Vegeta was being a dick by rubbing it in. He ignored Vegeta's smug tone and arrogant smirk. Gohan had lost all his pride, this thing with Piccolo was ruining his life. "Yes Vegeta. Your knowledge and expertise on Saiyans would be invaluable to me." He stated simply, His expression earnest.

"Fine, fine, brat. You've got me. I'm curious about these " _ **Saiyan problems**_ " you claim to have. To my knowledge, you've never been as affected by your saiyan side as you are by your human. Except in extreme cases. Your rather _human_ in your behavior." Vegeta sneered in disgust.

Gohan closed his eyes, mind in turmoil. He could feel his anger start to rise at Vegeta's dismissive attitude. The saiyan side Vegeta claimed he didn't have, was just begging to come out and show Vegeta who was really Top dog. The urge to assert his dominance and challenge the older male was nearly impossible to control. His saiyan instincts did not like the fact that there was another powerful saiyan male around their mate. An Alpha, at that. His instincts screamed at him to eliminate the threat to their potential mate.

Vegeta had been studying Gohan the entire time. He had purposely needled and angered the boy on purpose, just to see how he responded and Vegeta was not disappointed by what he found out.

He could tell that the boy had not been exaggerating, he really did have saiyan problems. Vegeta was in shock and awe as he realized what exactly was going on. The boy was in for a rude awakening and a wild ride. Vegeta thought smirking. After this, Vegeta could never call the boy half-breed or human, again. Hell, with this development the brat was more saiyan than he was!

Vegeta stepped smoothly out of his room and began to descend to the ground below. As soon as his feet touched the soft ground, he stalked away. Gohan stood frozen for a second, then scrambled to catch up to the saiyan prince. "W-what's going on Vegeta! I thought you were going to help me!" Gohan frantically whispered. Anxiety filled him as he worried that he would be abandoned to suffer on his own. In a panic, Gohan nearly barreled into Vegeta when the older man abruptly stopped.

Vegeta glared at Gohan, irritated at the boy's stupidity. "Brat! I told you I would help you! So pipe down. Unlike your idiot father, your not stupid. If you had been paying attention you would have realized where I led us too." Vegeta stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Gohan righted himself, totally embarrassed by his mini melt down. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, a bashful smile on his face,he finally looked up and realized they were at the Gravity chamber.

Gohan chuckled awkwardly, looking everywhere but at Vegeta.

"Now that you've made a fool of yourself, we can finally get down to business. Let's train." Vegeta commanded. His voice brokered no argument. Vegeta was back in control.

Gohan ignored the strong urge to bare his teeth at Vegeta. But he couldn't stifle the rough growl that burst out of him. It warned Vegeta that Gohan was no beta male but a dominant Alpha ready to defend his territory.

Vegeta stood stock-still, the instinctual urge to growl and put the teenager back in his place was strong. But Vegeta knew it would only lead to a battle to the death, a battle neither of them needed right now. Vegeta realized that the boy was worse off than he'd thought. If he, against his will, was challenging Alpha's instinctively, then Vegeta knew they had a problem. He knew that battles between Alpha's always lead to the death of one or both men. Vegeta wasn't so sure if he and the boy battled, that he would come out on top. No, it was best to help the boy get a handle on his instincts before they had a raging,lust-filled saiyan on their hands. Vegeta shuddered. He did not think the world was ready for a sex-crazed saiyan.

"Listen brat, we are going to train. I need you to give it everything you've got. Capiche." Vegeta said. His gazed direct as he watched Gohan.

Gohan stared at the other man in confusion, "How is this going to help me? I've been training nonstop! I need something more than _training!_ " Gohan complained derisively.

Vegeta smirked, "My help, my rules." He simply stated.

Gohan rolled his eyes but finally agreed. If Vegeta wanted to waste time fighting, then fine! Gohan would oblige, he just hoped Vegeta's help was worth it.

Vegeta walked calmly to the computer panel and set the coordinates for 500×s earth's gravity. It took a moment, but suddenly the air was heavy, making it hard to move.

"Let's start the warm up at 500 and then get this party started at 700!" Vegeta shouted, pumped-up as he suddenly punched Gohan in the face.

Gohan, caught off guard took the hit but soon he was throwing powerful punches and vicious kicks. Trying to overwhelm Vegeta with his barrage of attacks.

Vegeta laughed as they continued to fight, with the burn of adrenaline running through him. He was alive with excitement. It felt good fighting. Using his muscles, his powers, it was a drug Vegeta couldn't get enough of He'd missed this. Missed putting his body through the ringer and coming out on top. He'd stayed away to long, his depression had been all encompassing but now, he remembered why he loved this. This was where he belonged, not sitting in a room like a lump. He felt ashamed of his weakness. No longer would he hide from life he would make sure to live again.

He grabbed the brats fist, mid-punch tossing him over his shoulder. Then quickly roundhouse kicked him. The boy hit the wall, but came back swinging at Vegeta getting a head-butt for his trouble.

They had been fighting nonstop.

Punch after punch and kick after kick, Gohan and Vegeta were evenly matched. Vegeta could feel himself getting frustrated. He knew the brat was holding back. He'd lost power and strength in some of his attacks. After nearly a year of not training, he'd gotten weak and it showed, badly. Vegeta felt rage as he moved too slow to avoid the uppercut that sent him careening towards the ceiling.

Once again, he was losing to one, so below his station. What galled him most was that it was the half-breed progeny of that third class buffoon, Kakarrot. He, the Saiyan Prince, the last of the royal bloodline and lineage, was being showed up by a brat that was just entering puberty. Vegeta, so consumed by anger, had completely forgotten the reason he was training Gohan. To help and educate the boy about the problems he had been having with his saiyan side.

Vegeta quickly powered up, Transforming into a Super Saiyan. He let out a roar so loud the walls trembled as he rushed to attack Gohan. The fight before, a simple spar, now had become a true battle.

Gohan tried to keep control of his emotions as he dodged Vegeta's hits. He could not afford to lose control, his saiyan side was too near the surface. If he gave in too his instincts Vegeta would end up dead. Gohan avoided a blow to the head as he viciously kick Vegeta in the throat. The urge to go Super Saiyan 2 was almost too tempting but Gohan feared he may never come out of it if he gave in now.

Vegeta, frustrated with the constant dodging sent a ki blast at Gohan. "Stop dodging and fight me Kakarrot!" Vegeta screamed.  
Gohan jerked in surprise. Shocked that Vegeta had called him that. He felt rage, anger and hurt fill him. He was not his father! He was Gohan!  
Instantly Gohan stopped fighting, powered down and started to walk away.

Vegeta, confused by the abrupt change, watched the boy walk away, not understanding why he stopped fighting.  
"Boy where are you going? We're training!" He shouted.

Gohan stopped. His back to Vegeta. His hands were clenched tight in a fist as he took rapid breaths trying to calm down.  
"You called me by my father's name. While fighting me, you were so consumed with anger that you stopped fighting me and started fighting my father." Gohan stated rigidly. Still refusing to face Vegeta.

"Did you forget why I came here? To get help. But instead I get a sparr session and mistaken for my father. Some help you turned out to be." Gohan remarked sarcastically.

Vegeta's face turned red with embarrassment and rage. "Brat! Don't walk away from me! So what if I called you Kakarrot. Your his son. You might as well be him. Get back here, let's fight. Your acting like some angry woman." Vegeta mocked.

Gohan turned around and calmly walked up to Vegeta and punched him in the face. "Never insult me by calling me out my name or comparing me to my father. I am nothing like him. I was a fool to think you could help me. Your pathetic. I can assure you I'm no woman" Gohan smirked arrogantly. "Trust me, I got the right equipment to please Piccolo." He chuckled shaking his head as he walked away.

Vegeta was stunned at the boys words, but quickly locked the door and glared at Gohan. "Afraid I'll beat you brat. Is that why your running away. Your father never ran away from a fight." Vegeta mocked hoping to anger Gohan enough to keep fighting.

Gohan shook his head feeling sorry for Vegeta. "Why? Why are you always chasing after my Father? That even dead, Goku still has a hold on you. You follow him, try to be just like him. If my father does something, then your determined to do it too. Now that he's gone, you've been wasting away in your room. All because of him! He is not a man to emulate or live your life for!

Vegeta, filled with anger, couldn't help the words that burst out "That is easy for you to say! Kakorrot is stronger than me! He became super saiyan before me. Am I always doomed to be second best, brat!"

Gohan shook his head "No Vegeta, my father devoted his entire life to fighting. He gave up everything for it. That made him a good hero, but not a good father or husband. I don't hate my father, but where is he now? Dead. While we live. You have time to become stronger than my father, but you never will, focusing on him does not help you. Do you want to know what makes me the strongest in the universe? My anger. My anger at my loved ones being in danger. It's because I love them, not the earth, that my power is so ruthless and deadly. My father understands this a little bit; see he loves the earth and everything in it. Everything is equally loved by him, no one is special, not even his family. The only thing he loves more is fighting and getting stronger. So he uses this love to push him to greater heights. While you use your anger that is fueled by rage, jealousy, insecurity, and pride to push you. This is where you fall short. Love is always a greater motivator."

"You have all the tools you need to be successful. i.e. Your family, you created. You just need to focus on you and forget my dad. He's dead. You have to find your own reason to move forward and get stronger. Dad can not be the basis for your growth or the reason for your strength. It just makes your victory, his." Gohan spoke wisely.

He walked out the anti-Gravity chamber leaving Vegeta alone.

Vegeta was speechless.

The brat had read him the riot act. Maybe he was right, Vegeta had never thought of it like that. His focus had always been on Kakarrot and surpassing him, not on getting stronger for himself or his family.

He had always thought emotions made you weak, but looking at the brat and his idiot father, he had come to realize that he'd been wrong. His time with Freiza had messed him up. But he was tired of pitting himself against impossible standards. He would let Kakarrot go. The brat was right, he was dead. It was time to live for Vegeta, to learn about his son,Trunks and give this life a chance. He was a Prince, the last of his race except for two baby half-breeds and a Teenage half-breed. It was time to train and educate the last of his people.

Kakarrot hadn't cared about their lost people, culture, or customs.

He only cared about this mudd ball. But maybe his brat would be the one to appreciate it. Already the boy was exhibiting signs of K'ala.

Vegeta was still in shock that it was happening. The boy was young, too young to be feeling the possessive and aggressive feelings the ancients of their race had written about. Vegeta had been a child when his father had taught him the history of their people and how the Ancient saiyans came to be.

For the boy to be entering into K'ala only showed how much of a Saiyan he really was!

Hell, Vegeta had never entered K'ala neither had Kakarrot from what he could tell. But then their wives were not their mates. A Saiyan can only enter into K'ala when the race was near extinction or finds a viable mate worthy of having their litter.

Before the days of Freiza, the ancient rite of K'ala had been the way their people mated and reproduced.

Once upon a time, the saiyans had been a plentiful and robust race. Fighting, fucking, and family had been the way of the Saiyans. But then Freiza had come and ruined everything. He had killed many of the females and kits(babys) during the slaughter of blood. After that The battle of ancient days took place, where the Saiyans had launched their last stand. Many lost their lives and the rest were enslaved by that evil monster Freiza. His own father hadn't even been born yet, but his great grandfather had seen the enslavement and bastardization of the Saiyan race.

No one on this mudball understood what he had lost. They never realized why he hated Freiza so much. Why he had been so obsessed with becoming a super saiyan, and why it had killed him, when an uncaring, third-class baboon, who didn't know, nor care about the atrocities visited upon their people, had become super saiyan before him!

Only Vegeta, as the keeper of their peoples history, knew. Only he bore the weight of his people's cries for vengeance and blood. Only he remembered the songs of his homeland song to him in his youth, by Raditz. The only other person who had bowed his head in agony when the days of remembrance came, where they beat their chests in sorrow and wailed songs of rage.

It had been years since Vegeta had observed those sacred days properly. He felt shame for the dishonor of such important days to his people.

The boy was right. His desire to beat Kakarrot, Hell, his desire to destroy Freiza had blinded him to everything. He had done many horrible acts against Raditz and Nappa, blinded by rage. He had forgotten his people, his culture, his cause, until now. All because of Gohan. 


End file.
